“How do I make them go to therapy?”

You can tell a horse about the amazing mental health benefits of therapy, but you can’t make it drink the emotional labor of personal growth.

Hello! It’s me, your therapist friend, answering the internet’s questions about relationships, mental health and how to get the most out of going to therapy. Today’s question speaks to all three of these categories:

The most important piece of advice I can give is this: Go to therapy yourself. This question-asker already confirmed they’re in therapy, but not everyone who relates to this question may be.

Talking to a therapist of your own will allow you to explore your own grief, frustration, ambivalence, fear or resentment about this person not seeking mental healthcare. It’s also a good opportunity to explore codependency.

“Codependent” is a term that gets thrown around a lot, especially to describe romantic relationships when two people spend all of their time together and can’t seem to have an independent identity. And although some of these enmeshed relationship may indeed be codependent, in the context of professional mental health, the definition differs.