“Help! My therapist looks like my late aunt. Do I tell her?”
Each week, Your Therapist Friend answers the internet’s questions about mental health, relationships and how to be in therapy. Today, we’re tackling transference.
From a r/therapy post:
“I’m seeing a new therapist who is incredible — but she looks nearly exactly like my aunt who was murdered.”
I’ve spent quite a bit of time in therapy in my advanced age of 36 (haha). It’s been several years, though, and I decided it’s time to start again.
Already I can tell, after 2 sessions, that she’s maybe the best therapist I’ve ever had and that we are on the right path.
But 21 years ago, my aunt was murdered by her abusive boyfriend in such a way that garnered press in my area — one of the many events in my life that splintered my family and changed my own path in life. I was 15 at the time.
My aunt was 36 when she was killed, and I swear to god, if you fast-forwarded time to today, she’d look exactly like my therapist. I did a double-take when I walked in the door our first session.
My question is, do I tell her? I don’t want it to be conflict of interest where I’d have to seek therapy elsewhere because a good one I click with is so hard to find, and I feel I’m in the right place.
